What Does Victim Blaming Look Like?

Guys, there is a quote which says, “Rape is the only Crime where the Victim is Blamed.” Do you not think that tell is true? I completely consent that it is because that is what our society does!

Examples of Victim-Blaming Attitude:

“ She must have provoked him into being abusive. They both need to change. ”
” She must have been wearing inappropriate clothes. “
” We told her to stop being out late, she never listened, she deserves it! “
” She might have just wanted it, who knows!? ”
” She must have been drunk. ”
” He is such a nice guy, it was your fault, you must have allured him. “


These statements pretend that the victim is uniform to rebuke for the abuse when in truth, abuse is a conscious choice made by the abuser. Abusers have a selection in how they react to their partner’s actions. Options besides abuse include: walking away, talking at the moment, respectfully explaining why an action is frustrating, breaking up, etc. Additionally, abuse is not about specific actions that encourage the abuser to hurt his partner, but rather about the abuser’s feelings of entitlement to do whatsoever he wants to his partner.
When friends and family remain disengaged about the abuse and say that both people need to change, they are conspiring with and supporting the abusive partner and making it less likely that the survivor will seek support. That is why the Majority of the cases are not reported. We are making them fear reality. Why can we not help them up? Why can we not give them a hand? How hard is it? Think about it, buddies.

31 thoughts on “What Does Victim Blaming Look Like?

  1. Well said Penfila. I agree with you completely. It’s a saddening fact, taking the blame for no reason and being seen through an other eye without understanding what or how the real situation was. It’s a bitter truth, the mentality of many people need to change. I hope it will all end well one day, hopefully.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. I agree with you but I think that all starts from a pernicious point; society. It’s the society and particularly the members adhering to the same society to where you belong(it is just an analysis; no offence; if it still offended sorry). It is what they expect from gender roles, especially in Indian society – I think there are way too much pressures to retain hegemonic gender roles. Psychologically, alternative roles brought about the influence of the West which may result (in this what men think) in the ‘sidelining’ of men in society. Many women aspire towards higher education, work status and social freedom, however, I think this creates adverse mental pressures on men to retain the hegemonic masculine identity. This starts from adolescence; binge drinking and partying but also womanising and having sex with many partners( this serves to constantly prove their masculinity). If all this arises as a consequence, it is the way men and women are educated which is to be pointed. Civic education can help reduce sexism and physical assaults and engage the importance of respect towards women( also self defence as a safety precaution). And yes, rape can also be an adverse consequence of sexual abstinence or frustration or even humiliation from others on sexual capability. I know that I will write something (maybe wrong on this – but I’m not judging), some girls also define ‘masculinity’ or ‘virility’ of men by their responses(by means of conversation). Some can be very mean by judging someone’s male sexual capacities by saying that or this was not manly for them. This generates frustration and the resulting friction may lead to aggressive attacks, hence, ‘proving their masculinity.’ It is also difficult for many to live in a society where expectations for man now is higher. As far as rape victims, I am not one. I cannot understand the trauma they undergo but I can surely can say that whatever reasons lead to the fatal act is unjustifiable. Actions should be taken to curb such social fleas and punish the ones who perpetrate them, but by giving afflicted aid and moral support. Keep on your good work. I am currently researching on gender and its construction( gender studies).

    Liked by 4 people

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