Victim Blaming

Unfortunately, like we already know, victim accusing, bullying and sexual violence often go concurrently. There are many misunderstandings in our society that encourages that a survivor is somehow partly (or even fully) to blame for being bullied, sexually assaulted or harassed.

One reason people criticize a victim is to distance themselves from an unpleasant occurrence and thereby prove their own invulnerability to the risk. By marking or accusing the victim, others can see the victim as separate from themselves. People comfort themselves by thinking, “Because I am not like her, because I do not do that, this would never happen to me.” Wrong! We do not know what will happen to who. We need to help people understand that this is not a helpful reaction.


Why is it menacing?

Victim-blaming attitudes marginalize the victim/survivor and make it harder to come forward and state the abuse. If the survivor perceives that you or the society blames her for the abuse, s/he will not feel safe, positive or comfortable coming forward and notify about it.

The greater risk is that more often, tormented victims guilt put by others lure them to suicide and, yes, they die because of us, our torture above their rupture.

It is NOT the victim’s fault or responsibility to fix the situation, it is the abuser’s DEADLY CHOICE.

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Anxieties of Student Victims

I, at all times, will empathise with your feelings, being a student myself. I totally understand. Trust me, I know! Jot down some information that I managed to collect which may be helpful to you.

Are you in the same class as the physique that assaulted you?

It can honestly be absolutely scary and distracting for various survivors to audit the class with the person who attacked them. Your academics, education and career are essential as your parents fully depend on you, you need a bright future and all that stuff. On the other hand, you need to feel secure attending class so that you may be successful both academically and in your healing process. If the person who assaulted you is your classmate, you have to report to your respective administrations. Sexual assault is a violation, no matter what, no matter who!

Are you concerned about seeing the person that assaulted you on campus?

For sure it can be very distressing and traumatic to see that person whom you hate, who started you down, who struck you on campus. If you sense a feeling of being unsafe, talk to any higher officials on your campus about your options.

Are your grades suffering because of the assault?

Here is where the real struggle hits us. It will take some time to adjust after the assault and it is very common to have difficulties concentrating on studying or focusing on coursework. Moreover, explaining why your results are bad to your parents might seem forever. You are encouraged to communicate directly with your instructor in order to limit any possible misunderstanding about expectations and requirements. If you decide to take an incomplete or arrange for alternate requirements with your instructors, you are encouraged to have a contract in writing with your instructor in order to protect yourself in case of confusion at a later time. Sometimes survivors decide that they need to reduce their course load or withdraw in order to be successful in the future. This is a big decision and I suppose that you to talk with Academic Advising if you are considering these choices.

Are you concerned about telling your parents what happened?

If you tell your parents, will it be more or less helpful to you? This is a very difficult question for survivors. Many people find it hard to disclose to their parents. I get how this feels like. But have faith in my words, opening to your parents will make the situation a lot much better than you must have ever imagined. Ultimately you will find parents’ love and support helpful to your healing process. Some survivors may be concerned about hurting their parents or fear that their family may blame them for the assault. No matter what, it is not your fault. Only you can decide if and when to tell your family.

Are you worried about making a police report?

Making a police report after a sexual assault can be a very difficult decision for survivors. Uncertainty about reporting the assault is common, especially if you know the person who assaulted you. May it be your aunt, your uncle, your sibling, your friend, your parent, your teacher. So what? It was an injustice to your soul and body. Filing a police report is the first step in beginning the criminal justice process.

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How can We Help?

Understand them

The most popular explanation many people choose not to tell anyone about sexual assault is the anxiety that the hearer will not accept them. Friends, people rarely lie or stretch about sexual assault, in fact, survivors of sexual harassment are much more likely to downplay the struggle against them. If someone tells you, it is because they believe you and need to communicate with someone. So please do not back off.

Never Blame them

Another general hesitation in informing someone about a sexual assault is that the character will think it was somehow their fault. As always, I insist, it is not the victim’s fault if you view from any angle of the 360. NO ONE deserves to be sexually assaulted, no matter what. Sexual assault is always the responsibility of the assaulter, not the survivor. Therefore, from time to time, do let them grasp that it was not their error.

Give them Shelter

If feasible, I advise you to stay with the person at a convenient, reassuring spot.

Be There and Give Comfort

The survivor may need to speak a lot or at strange hours in the origin. Try to be there as much as you can and support the survivor to chat with others. Do not forget to praise the survivor for considering that he/she could talk to you. Trust me, it is not simple to tell someone about a sexual assault and you, as a listener should feel appreciative that the survivor feels you are a reliable person to talk to about the occurrence. But please as well, save the trust they have kept upon you.

Be Patient

Never try to hasten the healing method or “make it better.” Individuals do not heal at the same pace. Plus, healing does not occur overnight.

Validate the Survivor’s Feelings: their Anger, Pain and Fear

These are regular, healthy responses. They need to feel them, display them, and be listened to.

Express your Compassion

If you have reactions of indignity, compassion, pain for their pain, do bestow them. There is seemingly nothing more comforting than a genuine human response. However buddied, just make sure your feelings do not overwhelm theirs.

Resist seeing the Survivor as a Victim

Continue to see them as a mighty, courageous person who is enhancing their individual life and let them know of it. From time to time add these thoughts to strengthen them.

Accept the person’s Choice of what to do about the Assault

Do not be extremely guarding. Ask what is needed, assist the survivor record some options, then promote independent decision-making, even if you differ. It is very significant that the survivor make decisions and have them respected, as it can go a long way in helping them regain a feeling of direction in their lives.

Stay Friends

Do not pull away from the friendship because it is too hard for you to handle: that will make the person feel like there is something wrong with them. You can always help them find other support people –do not try to do it alone.

Respect their Privacy

Do not tell anyone who does not have to know. Do not gossip about it with common friends. This is a sensitive case, so do not open up about it to random people. IT IS UP TO EACH PERSON WHO WAS ASSAULTED TO DECIDE WHO TO TELL AND WHEN. ONLY THEM

Listen

Try to be supportive without giving advice. Maybe, you might realise or might not, you really cannot know what is best for someone else. The survivor mostly only wants to be heard. In sexual assault, a survivor’s power over body and feelings has been temporarily taken away; the person needs support to take that strength back, beginning with making his or her own decisions. Help them with that.

Get Help

Sometimes a person needs medical attention or other emergency help or support from other people besides friends. You can help your friend find the resources that are essential.

Help Yourself

When someone you care about is sexually assaulted, it affects you in a very deep way. I have played both roles, so I empathise with you. I did not have anyone to help me out. But now, I am here for you. You have your own needs and feelings which are probably somewhat different than your friend’s. Find someone you can go to without violating your friend’s confidence.

Educate yourself about Sexual Assault and the Healing Process

If you have a basic idea of what the survivor is going through, it will help you to be supportive. There are many good information sites on the internet. Do have talks with other survivors and supporters of survivors. Give them comfortable spaces and gain their trust. Many are willing to share what has helped them or can give you ideas on how to deal with a certain situation.

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300+ Is An Unbelievable Milestone

300 followers

Some may consider this really unneeded. 🤫 But only in certain circumstances do we take time to thank those who are the pillars of our success. I do NOT want to MISS paying my GRATITUDE to my dear FOLLOWERS by any chance. ❤️

Thanking everyone for being the reason I smile. ☺️ The real gift of gratitude is that the more grateful you are, the more present you become. 😘 Yes Buddies, if you all did not happen to me, I would not have touched Victory. 🤩 I appreciate each and everyone of you for the unending encouragement to my website, for the efforts put into your blogs. 😁 I especially want to shower my Thank You’s to your hearts, they are Beautiful! 🙈 As Oscar Wilde says “The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention,” I agree friends. 🤗 As well the beloved Saint Mother Teresa states “Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless” 😍 How much more can I say Yes, Mates! Your affection, warm-heartedness and care always leaves me speechless for the amazing effect it has on me. 😢 I thank the specific souls who take their precious time just to appreciate my work, not once not twice, but always. 👌 I earned so many Besties through this work, that is the best salary. 😇 I promise to never fail you and always keep up with this. 🤝

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The Delusions..

We know, there are a lot of things that are said about assaults and they are not shockingly given justice. But, are the tittle-tattles true? 🤔 

I had previously included some myths and facts about Sexual Assaults, here I come back with more! 😱 😪

The Fallacies 

Click on the Link to read about it

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Do NOT let the Earthly Foolishness Block your Eyes to Reality

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Safety Begins From You

To my Little Dear Ones ❤️

Hey there to everybody. We know how much importance we should be giving to children’s safety acknowledging the things that occur around us. They can be your kids, siblings, friends, cousins, just anyone. I found these and I thought it would be a good start for tiny angels. Share them with your wonders 👧 👦
Afterall, Safety is our Number 1 Priority right?

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Awesome Blogger Award!

Hey my lovely angelic bloggers! Hope you are all fine.

I am up in Cloud 9 ( Like Niru 😂) because the wonderful “Bobby” with the website “bittermarshmellows” nominated me for the award. This is my first nomination. I pay my heartfelt thanks to you buddy for thinking I am suitable. Guys, you should surely visit his blogs and follow him. Why? You will understand when you follow his blogs, they are awesome!

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  1. Do you believe in forever?
    I do believe in FOREVER, I believe in an afterlife 🤗
  2. How do you see our world by 2050?
    With no water resources and filled with Artificial Resources
    ( SAVE WATER BUDDIES, DON’T TAKE THEM FOR GRANTED💧 )
  3. “Greed accelerates our Energy to do something”. Do you believe this?
    Yes, it accelerates us to decelerate our life 👎 Do not be greedy friends!
  4. Is there any relation between Sex and Psychology? If yes, how?
    I should do some research 🤔
  5. What do you like the most about my website?
    Your website in total and the Title! 😄
  6. Have you ever been in a relationship? (before marriage) ?
     Lemme keep that a secret 😛
  7. Your one weird habit.
    One? I got loads. But here you go: I think of a great comeback about four hours later 🤦‍♀️
  8. Is love possible without ACTUALLY meeting each other?
    For sure!
  9. What are your plans for your blog?
    Grow it to a day that will link to an organisation that I should create for Survivors and Victims! 💪
  10. Do you want to meet me in real life?
    Of course I would. I want to meet every soul here 😘

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YOU, yes YOU who are READING this.
I NOMINATE YOU!
Don’t Turn Back, I actually am TALKING to YOU

To me, everyone is an Awesome Blogger, Please do participate my dear friends.

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  1. What is the most annoying habit that other people have?
  2. What do you wish you knew more about?
  3. What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of?
  4. What’s the farthest you’ve ever been from home?
  5. What amazing thing did you do that no one was around to see?
  6. What do you hope never changes?
  7. What is the luckiest thing that has happened to you?
  8. What age do you want to live to?
  9. What are you most likely to become famous for?
  10. What’s the dumbest thing you’ve done that actually turned out pretty well?

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  • Thank the person who nominated you
  • Include the banner in your post
  • Tag it under #awesomebloggeraward in the reader
  • Answer the question which the nominator gave you
  • Nominate at least 5 awesome bloggers
  • Give your nominees 10 questions to answer
  • Let your nominees know that they’ve been nominated

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