Habits and Addictions, Sexual Experiences and Moral Implications – From The Book “Dear Youth Counsellor,” By Dr. Anthony Grugni, M.D. Continued…

Though most of the time all three levels of reasoning are included in every decision we make, youngsters should be helped to realize that only decisions taken with a predominantly “adult” consciousness are going to be good and valuable in planning their future.

Sex is a complex reality:

  • It signifies our gender (male or female)
  • It points to a particular role in society (different tasks and behavioural patterns of men and women in society)
  • It is a very pleasurable experience, which leads men and women to search for intimate physical and emotional relationships.
  • It has many complex meanings. It can be used to console, encourage, thank, communicate love, give or get pleasure, but can also be used selfishly to dominate, bargain, relieve tension, even to punish, insult or exploit (rape.)
  • It is a powerful body language, involving the total person. When used properly it carries the wonderful message: I need you, I love you.
  • It has deep moral dimensions and implications. It serves a person’s noblest values and needs (true intimacy, committed love in marriage, personal growth, etc.) but it can be made an end in itself and used selfishly to exploit and abuse. In this case it becomes irresponsible and sinful.

There are youngsters who think that having sexual intercourse is love-making, but this may not necessarily be true: a girl may agree to it because she may be afraid of losing the boy, or to trap him into marriage. A boy may force his girl into sex to prove his virility or to boast about it before his friends.

If sexual intercourse is to be real love-making, true love has to be put into it.

In counselling youth, these are the points to be taken into consideration:

  • Impart sex education. Many youth fall into problems due to misinformation or lack of knowledge about the meaning, implications and consequences of sex.
  • The relationship of sex with love and procreation has to be clearly stressed.

Remedial measures:

Are there chances of changing one’s pattern of sexual behaviour in the case of a person who has developed an addiction to sexual activity? Yes! Here’s how:

  • Make a strong resolve to detach from old habits.

  • Avoid persons, places and situations that may weaken one’s resolve or bring to mind one’s previous attachments.

  • Accept the fact that what has happened in the past may not be erased from one’s memory and that of the other people involved.

  • Develop hobbies and engaging activities that will keep mind and heart occupied.

  • Use energy in an extroverted way: participate wholeheartedly in social and welfare activities.

  • Take one day at a time. Evaluate each day before retiring for the night.

I am not going to ask of your previous sexual experiences, my dear youngsters, but here is a way to detach from it. I hope it was helpful. Thanks to the author for the awe-inspiring work.

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